


In Another World

by CatBooks (CatsAndBooks)



Category: Vicious - V. E. Schwab
Genre: M/M, One Shot, in another life, supposed to be sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-29 02:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6355942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatsAndBooks/pseuds/CatBooks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Victor thinks about what could have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Another World

Victor was angry when he arrived at his and Eli’s apartment. Angry, but calm. Calm in that disconnected way he felt since his death. He still felt nothing when he thought about Angie. He knew he should want, try, need, to feel something. But he simple didn’t care. 

When he saw Eli though, he paused to watch him. Eli made him _feel_. Feel anger. Feel betrayal. He was expecting to feel this. What he wasn’t ready for was the feelings of regret and loss that flooded through him. 

He could see now with a new, calm, clarity that it was never Angie that he wanted. He never really wanted safe, copper curls. What he wanted, had always wanted, was a dangerous smile. A glimpse of a dark glint in brown eyes. Brown hair that turned gold in the light. He wanted Eli. 

And now it was impossible. In that moment he saw another life, an alternate universe. One where instead of him being here to hurt Eli, instead of driving a knife into him, he would grab his shoulders and pull him into a rough kiss. 

A world where they would get past this. They would fill the emptiness in each other, with each other. They would be gods in this world. They could do whatever they wanted. Together they would be invincible.

They could make great advances in science. They could become the greatest minds of their generation. 

Or they could run away. He could go in there now and convince Eli to forget everything. They didn’t need to graduate. They could just bask in their power. Together.   
They could be immortal. The world would never forget them, just like Eli wanted. They would be _ever_. 

In this world, Victor wouldn’t be forgotten. He wouldn’t be a sidekick. He would be an essential in Eli’s life. He could bring out the exciting side of Eli that he hungered for, unhindered.

He could see himself cupping Eli’s cheek, looking into each other’s eyes. He could see himself gently laying his hands on Eli’s chest, and turning off his lingering pain from wounds already healed. 

In this world he took away Eli’s pain rather than cause it. 

He saw another world. One where he hadn’t died. He would have worked with Eli, fully developed his thesis. Even if he wasn’t an EO like Eli, he would still be needed.   
Angie would still be alive. But Eli would have a new obsession of his abilities. Victor would be right there, helping bring out the dark energy that resided in Eli, the energy that Angie suppressed. He would take him from her. 

They would graduate together. They would make more discoveries together. They would help change the world together. 

If he had had this clarity two days ago, he would never have killed himself. He would have been content being Eli’s sidekick, as long as he could have him. 

He saw a final world. One where he had never convinced Eli to turn theory to reality. He would have never taken those pills, igniting a fire in Eli that couldn’t be put out. 

Eli would never have stepped into that ice bath. He never would have had to kill himself to keep up with Eli. 

Instead, they would be working side by side to piece together Eli’s thesis. They would make breakthrough after breakthrough, together. 

One day, Eli would say:

“We did it, Vic! This is the piece we were missing!” After Victor strung together some information, connected the pieces like he was so good at. It would be just as much his discovery as it was Eli’s. 

Eli’s eyes would shine with energy, his whole being so, so alive. He would turn to look excitedly at Victor, to find Victor already staring at him.

“Eli” he would mutter hoarsely. 

And their lips would crash together with the same fervent energy in Eli’s eyes. They both wanted his, needed this, for so long. 

He would trace Eli’s lips with his thumb, they would kiss each other hungrily, and come together. 

There would be no animosity in this world. Just soft words and promises. Promises they would have all the time in the world to keep. 

They would wake to each other. They would laugh over stupid classmates and teachers. They would graduate, and the thesis would become a distant memory. 

They would say “I love you.”

Victor wanted this world so much it hurt. A pain he couldn’t take away. He wanted anything. Anything besides how he knew this was about to play out. 

It could have been paradise, him and Eli. He could have had everything. He had everything, he just didn’t know it then. 

He lost everything.

He looks at Eli’s form on the couch. He still holds onto a sliver of hope. They could still have a world together. There was still a world where Victor kissed Eli. Where Victor loved Eli. 

_Fight for me. Don’t let this be what our story becomes. It’s not too late, fight for me._

But Eli turns, and Victor sees his eyes. In that moment he knew that this world would never be one where they kissed. 

“Eli” he whispers. 

“There was a world where we were happy. A world where we were in love.” He thinks angrily at Eli.

He prepares to inflect as much pain as possible on Eli. 

“I love you so damn much” he says, for the first, and the last time.

**Author's Note:**

> I have lots of feelings about these boys, and I'm not sure I put them all into words.


End file.
